28.01.2011

What are you supposed to do when your entire heart is breaking? When all you can do is stand by and let it happen, because there is nothing else to do? I know about it all, even though she has not told me everything - I know. I am not dumb. I want to help and I try my very best, but what is there to do when she will not let me do anything? My heart breaks each time I think about what is going on. I want to fix it all for you but I am as helpless as you will let me be. I want to make it all good, I want to say the right things but what are the right things to say anyway? We live in a sick, sick world.

21.01.2011

I have not written at all lately, even though I have wanted to. So, why have I not? School has been, and still is, crazy. I have never ever had this much to do in my entire life. I am seriously getting a mental breakdown where it all turns against me because I get so blocked that I can not do anything I am supposed to! Murphy's law could not be more coherent right now. But tonight? Tonight I am going to cook a lovely greek dinner, paint my nails, watch The O.C. and then go to bed (I have school tomorrow, you see).

14.1.2011

Lately.. Well, honestly I do not know. My mood goes up and down like crazy lately. But in general I feel genuinly good. But at the same time, I feel like shit. It is hard to explain, it is like two sides of the same coin. Either it is the one or the other. But generally, it feels like my life is actually heading places. I am about to graduate the IB (it is about four months left but they will fly by) and I have some amazing plans for the summer. Just to graduate will be one of my life's most important moments and I am really looking forward to it. It is what is keeping me going lately, knowing that it is soon over.

09.01.2011

2010 started out bad and ended bad too, I can only say that I am glad that it is over. This year was supposed to be a good year and even though it started really well, it has not continued as such. The last two days has been chaos and I wish for nothing else than to just leave. Why must it be so hard when all I want is for it to be simple and plain? Anton Chekhov said that it is the day to day living that wears you out and he could not be more correct. My life is tearing me apart.