I go to bed, exhausted, and still I cannot sleep. I cannot stop thinking, my heart is racing and I cannot seem to breathe. I fall asleep and I dream about everything I cannot stop thinking about. I wake up long before my alarm clock is set and my entire body is shaking, like when you are freezing, even though I am warm under my duvet. I cannot fall back to sleep, as soon as I get these thoughts out of my head - they are back again. I get hungry but I do not have an apetite so I do not really eat. I go up and I tell myself that I am worth more than this. It is going to get better. But when? It is like a huge monster is slowly eating my life, piece by piece. How do I get through loosing someone like him? Who can I call when I cannot sleep? Who is willing to stay up with me all night just because I am afraid of nightmares? Who will be the one to sleep at my place when no one is home and I do not wanna sleep alone?
No one, that is who. I am alone.
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